Power of Surrender

The year 2021 concluded today. Another year that not only taught some humility to us all but also taught the ability of humanity to learn, adapt, evolve, and overcome challenges. The year started as a continuation of the pandemic, with widespread despair and disappointment. Schools continued online studies, many people out of work, many people staying indoors, scared of the invisible enemy, mostly because the authorities demanded forced isolation. In the US the feeling of anarchy spread, with the attack on the Capitol.  Then came the victory of scientific research in the form first mRNA vaccine. More variants of COVID, more anxiety. And here we are at the conclusion of 2021, witnessing the highest spike in the number of COVID cases to date, with the emergence of the Omicron variant.

 

Many of us thought life was in control, if we worked hard, planned, and did the right thing. One thing I learned this year is the illusion of control that we all have about our lives. The past year reminded me every day of the complete lack of control that we have over our own lives and world events. We can plan how much ever we want, but we are up for disappointment if we are not prepared to welcome the collapse of all the plans. The year 2021 is one of the most important years of
my life. On the positive side, it is the year I started a job that was my dream for over a decade. For the first time, I became an employer, the biggest responsibility in my life, second only to that of being a dad. I had the opportunity to meet with several interesting people, I moved to one of the most important cities in the world. Realized the possibility to make an impact in this world. It was the year, where I did my first 10-day silent meditation retreat, one of the most powerful experiences in my life.  It was the year where I first really experienced music in my body through an altered mental state. It was the year where I re-started violin lessons. 2021 would always be remembered for several wonderful memories I had with my little one. It was also the year I had to stay away from my daughter for the longest period. Waives of pain and happiness, not only for me but also for her. In 2021 a number of my dreams come true; a number of my dreams never came through.

 

This year taught me the power of “surrender”. Once I did everything I could, in my capacity, I am learning to let it go. It is an empowering feeling. In a way, it is relishing in my helplessness. When I miss my daughter when I realize the dark side of people when I think the whole world is plotting against me…. A beautiful feeling of calmness and equanimity fills my mind when I remind me that, I did everything I did. I do not know the meaning of anything in life. I used to try to dissect the events in my life to make sense of the certain event. But now I doubt if there is any meaning to anything, other than just to enjoy the things that need to be done. Lucky are those who are really good at what they do, then they can enjoy it better. In my case, which I think is true for many people, I am not particularly good at most of the things I am doing in life. So, I guess the challenge is to learn even to enjoy that struggle.  

 

Life is what it is. Not good, not bad, but whatever we make it to be.