I heard recently that "happiness is the feeling we experience when we move in the direction of attaining our true potential". In our heart, we know what we need and where we should be. But many of us disregard these "intuitions" and go after what our ego wants. As someone said, "when we stop doing what we want, we will start doing what we need". The difference between "want" and "need" is very subtle. Do I really "need" the recent version of iPhone? Not really. It is just a marginal increment in features from the one I have. Who cares if the battery last 30 min longer? But the fact is that I "want" one because few of my friends just bought it.
I have noted that the source of most stress is the conflict between this need and want. Some difficult situations I have been going through recently made me realize that many goals I have been pursuing were not real needs. When we face bigger challenges in life, we get to see many small problems from a different perspective and would realize that they are not a big deal after all. People who had near-death experience are reported to, sometimes, undergo huge mental transformations. They suddenly became more pleasant, happy and start reconnecting with family and friends and overall became more lively. The theory is that they have faced the ultimate fear of most people and realized what is important at the face of death. It is said that no one repents at moment of death that they should have spent more time at work.
That may be the reason, in some Buddhist tradition, they meditate on death. In this practice, people visualize death and decay of their own bodies and the people they are close to. It would reinforce the concept of impermanence. Interestingly, I recently downloaded an app name "WeCroak". Once downloaded it would randomly remind me that I am going to die and then will give some(times) interesting quotes. The point is that, to find out what we really need we have to either undergo major life events such as the death of dear ones, life threating illness, accidents, divorce, bankruptcy etc etc.. Basically, destruction of something that we were so much attached to and identified with. Once we lose what we were grasping on, then we would start realizing that, gee, it was something I thought I wanted, not I really needed. Such moments of epiphanies will make us focus on our true need and true potential. Instead of totally destructing us, such events could be a truly transformative force that would give us the courage to pursue our true passion without fear and to achieve our true emotional, spiritual and material potential.
I have noted that the source of most stress is the conflict between this need and want. Some difficult situations I have been going through recently made me realize that many goals I have been pursuing were not real needs. When we face bigger challenges in life, we get to see many small problems from a different perspective and would realize that they are not a big deal after all. People who had near-death experience are reported to, sometimes, undergo huge mental transformations. They suddenly became more pleasant, happy and start reconnecting with family and friends and overall became more lively. The theory is that they have faced the ultimate fear of most people and realized what is important at the face of death. It is said that no one repents at moment of death that they should have spent more time at work.
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| Death Meditation (Image:https://medium.com/@mjw/meditation-on-death-54c723c261ae) |
That may be the reason, in some Buddhist tradition, they meditate on death. In this practice, people visualize death and decay of their own bodies and the people they are close to. It would reinforce the concept of impermanence. Interestingly, I recently downloaded an app name "WeCroak". Once downloaded it would randomly remind me that I am going to die and then will give some(times) interesting quotes. The point is that, to find out what we really need we have to either undergo major life events such as the death of dear ones, life threating illness, accidents, divorce, bankruptcy etc etc.. Basically, destruction of something that we were so much attached to and identified with. Once we lose what we were grasping on, then we would start realizing that, gee, it was something I thought I wanted, not I really needed. Such moments of epiphanies will make us focus on our true need and true potential. Instead of totally destructing us, such events could be a truly transformative force that would give us the courage to pursue our true passion without fear and to achieve our true emotional, spiritual and material potential.
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